Video shows a John Deere tractor driver initiating a police pursuit.

This true story from North Carolina demonstrates that although tractor speeds are not particularly high, it turns out that they are quite challenging to stop.

A man on a John Deere tractor started a lengthy police chase that included tire shooting, spike strips, and a taser battle in news from North Carolina, which we might have to start calling "North North Florida." For obvious reasons, we're calling this incident "Hicks Gone Wild": Ronnie Hicks was the name of the man driving the tractor. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, this was a stolen tractor.

Based on the summary of the chase that was posted by the Boone police department, where everything took place, it appears that old Ronnie is no stranger to the local constabulary. "So, many of you have heard, or have seen the videos, that we got in a pursuit with a tractor," the Facebook post begins. Mr. Ronnie Hicks, a person with whom we are very familiar, was driving the stolen tractor. The reader is free to speculate as to why they might be familiar with this individual, but the following account might shed some light on the matter.

Our GTA (Grand Theft Agriculture) adventure, according to the police, begins with the Deere pilot driving around town, swerving menacingly at pedestrians and hitting things. This will draw the attention of local law enforcement in Boone, as it does in most towns. "We are still trying to sort it all out," says police chief Andy Le Beau, who maintains that Hicks "hit several vehicles, a dumpster, and a church." Yes, just like we are!

As a result, a low-speed chase in the style of OJ ensued, during which the authorities learned that John Deere tractors are surprising resilient, if not quick. The police attempted to block it with spike strips as its speed approached 20 mph. Unperturbed, the tractor and the irascible driver carried on. Up next: bullets. And it worked to shoot at the tires, one of the front tires eventually peeled right off the rim. However, those massive wheels continued to rotate, tearing up the road as they went.

However, our irritable protagonist eventually took a turn that caused him to run out of road. At that point, armed with a knife, he jumped off the tractor. Have you ever been told, "Don't bring a knife to a taser fight?" No? Well, based on what happened next, we just made it up. After that, Mr. Hicks was taken into custody and charged with a variety of offenses, including breaking into churches with stolen tractors and other similar offenses.